How to Show Respect for Your Child

One of the great frustrations as a parent is when children don’t respect the rules that you have in the home or are just a little disrespectful in general. Of course, all parents want their children to be kind and polite with everyone that they come into contact with. But this isn’t always going to be the case. You can see as they get older, particularly into their teenage years that they can snap back or lack respect for some people, which can be disappointing. But the good news is that no matter what the age of your children, there are still plenty of things that we can do to encourage a healthy and mutual respect for one another. When we show our children respect, they are likely to mimic it, as they will feel strengthened and empowered by how they are being treated.

 

With all of that in mind, here are some of the ways that you can show respect to your children and avoid those power struggles that can come at all different ages.

image

 

Ask Fewer Questions

We as parents want to know what our children have been doing when we are not there, or what they have been thinking about or doing. But when they are barraged with questions, is it any surprise that they are reluctant to answer? Being tight-lipped doesn’t mean that they don’t necessarily want to share, they just want to control how and where they do so. So give them a little space, and let them know that you’re there when they want to talk.

 

Let Them Choose

It can be really easy as parents to take control and choose what they are going to wear and get them dressed, just because it may be quicker. But if you follow the Montessori method of teaching, then you do need to give them choice. This helps them to feel respected as they can have a say in things. Something as small as choosing what they wear can be a good sign of respect, as well as putting them in control. We may still feel like we should be bathing or washing our kid’s hair, but they can certainly get on and do it themselves, especially when they are at school. Give them choices and it will help the respect between you as they can feel more grown up and like they have more responsibility.

 

Let Them Speak

When you go and visit family or meet with friends, often they will ask your children things like how school is or what their favorite thing to do is. They may be a little reluctant to share, but don’t jump in there to do it for them; give them the chance to speak. It helps them to show respect to the person asking the question, as well as them being shown respect by you as you don’t jump in to answer for them.

These are just some small examples, but it can make a difference. When there is mutual respect, wonderful things can happen.

How To Manage A Breakup When You Have Kids

Image Source. Licensed under Creative Commons.

 

Breakups can be difficult at the best of times, but they can be particularly challenging if you both have kids together. Doing what’s best for you and what’s best for the kids isn’t easy. Here are a few tips to negotiating a breakup when you have children.

 

Plan how to tell your kids

Once you’ve decided that you’re definitely breaking up, the first thing you’ll need to do is tell the kids. If your kids are older, they may have already sensed that you weren’t getting along, but the news could still come as a shock. If you and your partner have come to a mutual agreement, it’s important that you both tell the news together so that your kids realize that you’re both serious about it. You should break the news at home where your kids are likely to be comfortable. Make your kids understand that it’s not their fault and allow them to ask questions, being as honest with your answers as you can.

 

Decide how to share out parental care

After one of you has moved out, your kids will have to get used to sharing time between the pair of you. You’ll need to decide the best way to do this – it’s usually healthy that your kids have a stable base, which means spending most of their time in one place. They can make regular visits to the other parent’s house. Coming to an amicable agreement isn’t always easy – in the case of a bad breakup, one partner may attempt to claim full custody in which case you may have to look into hiring child custody lawyers. When arguing this decision, make sure that the kids aren’t around so that they don’t feel caught in the middle.

 

Decide financial arrangements

Depending on the amount each of you is earning, you should both contribute a certain amount of funding towards your kids. If you were financially reliant on your partner, it may be their job to continue paying for the kids. Making financial arrangements isn’t easy and may also require hiring a solicitor or a financial adviser to come to a fair decision.

 

Keep up a routine

A sense of routine is important for your children – it will give them something familiar to cling onto. When sharing out parental care, try to arrange a schedule so that your kids know when they’re going to see each parent. Try to keep up other routines that existed before such as keeping bedtime at the same time and allowing them to attend the same after school clubs.

 

Listen to your kids

One thing that many parents don’t do is listen to their kids. If your kids are young, they may not be able to make decisions for themselves, but in the case of older kids, they may want to have some input when it comes to how much time they spend with each parent. You need to approach the situation practically, but you should still listen to you kids and let them have a say.